Not So Long Ago When I Was Five
by ElderTrash
Summary: After getting in trouble with the village Shaman, Kevin Price gets turned into a pouty five year old and it's up to Connor and the Elders to get him back to normal. ((McPriceley/ChurchTarts/Cunnilungi Fluff))


Well, Kevin Price had finally done it. His incessant singing about how incredible he was finally got him in trouble. Not with the General, or the villagers, Kevin got himself in trouble with the grumpy shaman at the edge of the village.

The shaman was in his garden collecting roots and herbs to make medicinal drinks when Kevin's loud voice caused him to pull a plant up wrong and destroy the precious roots.

Peering up over his fence to see who had ruined his harvest, the shaman zeroed in on a tall, skinny white boy skipping around with a short man and singing about their religion. He watched them curiously until the taller one pushed his friend away and began singing about himself.

Something would have to be done about the selfish man and his bad attitude, and shaman knew just what to do.

A week later, Elder Connor McKinley sat in the kitchen of the mission hut waiting for his boyfriend to hurry up and get out of bed already. It was long past 6:30 when Kevin was supposed to be up so Connor sighed and went to wake him.

When Connor saw Kevin's bed he shrieked and rushed over to the bedside. Kevin Price was not in his bed, instead there was little boy, no more than five, in his place. The boy was wearing an oversized pair of temple garments and socks that hung off his little ankles. Connor gently nudged the little boy and his bright brown eyes fluttered open. For a moment, Connor recognized those eyes, but he had to be mistaken.

"Hey kid, c'mon and get up now." Connor said gently.

The little boy sat up and rubbed his eyes before flashing Connor a huge, blinding grin. He stuck out a small hand and Connor shook it reluctantly. "My name is Kevin Scott Price and I'm from Salt Lake City, Utah in the United States!" The boy exclaimed happily.

Connor's eyes widened and he dropped the little boy's hand. "Very funny Kevin!" He shouted desperately. "I don't know where you found this little guy but it's a good trick! He looks a lot like you!"

Kevin didn't pop out of the closet or crawl out from under the bed with a "Gotcha!".

Connor looked at the little boy nervously, he certainly did look an awful lot like Kevin.

The boy had thick brown hair that swooped up on his head like Kevin, big excited brown eyes like Kevin, clear and shiny tanned skin like Kevin, a perfect white smile like Kevin, Connor felt like passing out. He picked up the little boy and brought him to the kitchen where he sat him down on the counter.

"Okay kid-"

"My name's Kevin!" The boy squeaked happily.

"Okay Kevin, tell me, what's your little brother's name?" Connor asked.

"His name is Jack David Price!" Suddenly the little boy's face grew downcast and he started playing with his little fingers. "One time I lied and got Jack in big trouble, but I'll never ever do that again. Promise!"

Connor patted Kevin's head. "Good, um can you sit here for a second?"

Kevin nodded.

Connor ran to the backyard of the mission hut where the other elders were playing an intense game of monopoly. "Guys! Kevin's been turned into a five year old!" Connor cried.

Elder James Church looked up at him. "Come again?"

"Kevin woke up this morning as a little boy."

"Are you sure it's Kevin?" Chris Thomas asked.

"Yes! He knows stuff that only the real Kevin would know."

"Like?"

"He knows about Kevin's brother and about Kevin's first spooky hell dream."

The elders muttered amongst themselves for a moment before Elder Neeley looked up at Connor. "Where is he?"

Connor led the elders to the kitchen where he had left Kevin, but the boy was gone. "He was right here! I swear on Heavenly Father I'm not making this up!"

Everyone grumbled angrily until Elder Michaels turned around. "Um, elders, look." He was pointing at the couch where a little boy sat. He was reading a Book of Mormon.

When the boy saw the staring crowd he closed the book and grinned at them. "Hi I'm Kevin!"

Elder Zelder screamed and passed out, his mission companion Elder Neeley dragged him away.

"I told you! Look at him!" Connor cried.

Elder Davis walked over to Kevin and sat next to him. "Hi Kevin, I'm Elder Davis."

"Hi!"

"I'm a missionary with the Church of Jesus Christ-"

"Of Latter-Day Saints!" The boy shouted excitedly.

Davis looked back at his friends. "It's definitely Kevin."

Together, the Elder of District 9, tried to figure out what was wrong with their resident super-Mormon.

Chris and James took Kevin to the room they shared and dressed him in one of Chris' uniforms since he was the smallest of the Elders. Elder Schrader carried Kevin as the gaggle of Mormons made their way into the village to seek help.

Before entering the village, McKinley stopped everyone in their tracks. "Arnold is here with Naba, you guys. Do not let him see Kevin, he'll freak out and scare him."

The Elders nodded collectively.

Kevin squirmed around in Schrader's arms. "I wanna go to Connor." He said with a pout.

"To bad Kev, Connor's gotta figure out what's wrong with you."

Kevin sniffled and furrowed his brow. "No! No! No!" He started wiggling and kicking his legs, causing Schrader to put him on the ground before he dropped him.

On his little legs, Kevin toddled over to Connor and hugged his leg. "Connor!" He cried, pulling on the man's pant-leg. When Connor looked down, Kevin stretched his arms out. "Up!"

Connor picked Kevin up and held him, resting the boy's weight on his hip. Elder Church snorted. "Hmph, even as a little squirt Kevin still tells you what to do, huh Connor?"

Connor stared daggers at James.

"Shut-up." Chris said, elbowing his boyfriend's side.

Kevin's head whipped around. "Hey! That's a bad word!" He cried, pointing at Chris.

"Sorry Kevin."

Connor left Kevin with the Elders while he went inside Gotswana's hut to ask him for help.

Elder Michaels has gone into Arnold's room before they left and grabbed one of his Star Wars action figures to distract Kevin. He handed the toy to him but Kevin sighed and looked at it with boredom. "I don't like this toy Elder Michaels." He said, handing it back.

They tried to entertain little Kevin so that he wouldn't make a fuss and attract attention, but nothing was working and the boy grew restless. He crossed his arms and stuck his chin out defiantly. "I'm bored."

"Play with your tie." Church snapped, done with the superiority complex that even five-year-old Kevin possessed.

Being the good Mormon boys they were, the missionaries had put Kevin in full regulated attire. Tie and name tag included.

"Wait I've got an idea!" Elder Schrader exclaimed, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a Book of Mormon and handed it to Kevin. "Here buddy."

Kevin grabbed at the book excitedly and opened it up to the Book of Nephi, his favorite even as an adult, and started reading quietly.

Connor emerged from the doctor's hut a few minutes later. "He said to try the shaman at the edge of the village." He informed the Elders.

They stood and Kevin reached up to take Connor's hand. Suddenly it dawned on them, to get to the shaman's hut they'd have to walk past Naba's house where Arnold was having breakfast.

"We're gonna pass silently along the front of Nabulungi's yard okay?" Elder Davis said, detailing the plan on a diagram drawn into the dusty ground. The missionaries nodded and they proceeded to the hut.

The minute they stepped into Naba's yard Arnold walked out the front door. "Bye Nitrogen!" He shouted behind him. When he turned around, he saw his friends all staring at him and standing shoulder-to-shoulder in a straight line. A large grin was plastered on each of their faces.

"Hey guys!" Arnold cried, running up to them.

"Hello Elder Cunningham." They said in strained unison.

Arnold cocked an eyebrow. "Are you guys okay?"

"Oh just right as rain! You know us Mormons, tomorrow is a latter day and all that jazz!" Connor stuttered quickly.

A small voice came from behind the Elders and Connor started talking loudly to Arnold to conceal the sound while the other Elders tried to address the situation.

"What's he doing?" Chris whispered to Schrader, who was hiding Kevin behind his legs.

Behind Schrader, Kevin sat on the ground with his hands clasped and his eyes squeezed shut. "Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name..."

"Oh my god." Schrader grumbled.

"What?" Chris asked.

"He's praying."

"Seriously?" James said with a bemused look.

"Seriously, he's saying the 'Our Father'."

"Well shut him up."

Careful to avoid Arnold's eye, Schrader slipped his Book of Mormon out of his pocket and down to Kevin. The word of God was like a pacifier to that kid.

Arnold spotted a little blob of white button-down behind his friends and he pushed past them to see Kevin.

Kevin looked up at Arnold. "Hi! I'm-"

"Kevin!" Arnold cried, scooping up the boy and squeezing him tightly. "What happened to you best friend!?"

"We just found him like this." Connor said gently, prying Kevin out of Arnold's tight grip. Naba and her father stepped out of their house upon hearing Arnold's screams.

"What happened?" Naba asked. Elder Davis shrugged. "Kevin got turned into a little kid." He explained.

Mafala smiled and rolled his eyes. "Hasa Diga Eebowaii."

James pointed at him and said: "Amen to that." Earning him another elbowing from Chris.

Naba approached Kevin, Connor, and Arnold. "It must've been the shaman. He curses those who have done something selfish."

Again James piped up. "I'm surprised it took him this long to get Kevin then!" Connor glared at him.

"Come, I will take you to him." Naba said, taking Kevin in her arms.

"You're very pretty." He said, playing with Naba's curls.

"Thank you." She said, blushing.

At the Shaman's hut, the elders waited outside while Connor, Kevin, and Naba entered the hut.

Kevin pulled on Naba's dress to get her attention. "Can I tell you about Jesus?" He asked.

"Maybe later Kev." Connor said, taking Kevin's hand in his own.

The shaman looked up from a piece of parchment he was writing on and smiled at his guests. "I wondered when you'd be here with the selfish one. Has he learned his lesson?"

Kevin smiled at the shaman. "I'm Kevin Price and I'm incredible!"

Connor rolled his eyes. "Sir, you can't fix Kevin. He's the most selfish and self-centered person in Uganda, but he's also a missionary devoted to helping others."

"Nobody is incurable."

In that moment, Kevin tripped and bumped his head, he started wailing and crying.

"I'll prove it." Connor said, grabbing a small mirror off the shaman's desk and handing it to the crying little boy.

The minute Kevin saw his own reflection, he calmed down and started fixing the parting in his hair. Connor motioned to Kevin. "See?"

The shaman rubbed his chin in thought. "Fine, but tell him to keep his voice down from now on."

Connor agreed and didn't ask for any explanation.

In a puff of smoke, Kevin was back to his nineteen-year-old self. He sat on the floor with a mirror in his hands and an extremely tight shirt on. Connor dropped to his knees and planted a kiss on Kevin's lips. "You're back!"

Kevin kissed his boyfriend back, confused. "Back? Where did I go? How did I get here?"

Naba helped Kevin up. "What do you remember?"

"Going to bed last night."

Outside the hut, Kevin was greeted with cheers and clapping. He reveled in the attention, even though he didn't know what it was for. A chorus of "Look who's back!"s and "Thank Heavenly Father!"s erupted from the missionaries.

On the walk back to the mission hut, the elders filled Kevin in on what had happened.

That was one thing he decided not to believe.


End file.
